today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
