Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
