if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
