my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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