nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
