Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
