Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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