you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
