Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
