do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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