i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
