so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
