Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
They have beer where we have blood.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
