dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
