Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
