I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You can't special order awesome
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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