You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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