I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
