Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
