I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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