its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
