So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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