I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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