I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
