Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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