yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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