I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
