Already got asked if we're dating
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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