he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
