I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
