A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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