Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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