Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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