What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize