either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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