I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
