You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
