your parents love me but you hate me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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