my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
