someone threw a dead crab at me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
