Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
