I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
