so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i've created a new STD.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
