Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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