Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
