They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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