I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
