I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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