I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
