I'm lost and stupid without you.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
