So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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