Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he fucked my hip out of place.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
