What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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