About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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