How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize