I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize