Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
