I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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