You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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