A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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