My room smells like vodka and shame
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
