How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
