so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
