you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
