Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize